How can I serve you, Mama Gaia?

May 5, 2022

During my treatment, my acupuncturist said to me: you’ve been through a lot, and you’ve really been dealt a hard hand.

To which I responded with soft tears + an even softer: “but I can do it, you know, I can get through it.” Doesn’t everyone go through obstacles? Don’t we all perceive suffering at some point in our very human lives? Some days, most days even, it doesn’t seem so hard.

My acupuncturist: I know you can get through it, but it doesn’t mean that you haven’t gone through a lot. It doesn’t mean it isn’t hard.

Thank you for seeing my spirit 💎, and acknowledging my essence…my old soul…along with my greatest hopes and desires…as they are an important part of my sacred work here.

Thank you for holding my spirit gently.

And thank you for bringing to the surface, the grief I unknowingly held deep in my being.

Note to Jen: no need to dim the intensity of your obstacles. Yes, other souls also hurt, but that doesn’t mean your hurt is not hard.

It has been hard. Exquisitely so.

You’ve already learned not to dim your light; and just the same, you do not need to dim your shadows. They are one in the same. Both get you to where you desire and need. ✨ You already know this, of course, but now you remember.

To be human is to acknowledge this immense grief I feel, for a surgery that turned out—albeit amazingly successful—not as I’d ultimately hoped. To be human is to experience this sense of polarity. Relief and grief. I celebrate in joy, and I cry in sorrow. Both, allowed and available to be experienced at the same time, in the same breath.

To be human…is so weird…yet oddly familiar.

I think I’ve been here before. And now, I remember.

Somehow, I just know that this next phase will be less about resiliency, and more about surrender. No longer, must I withstand raging winds with force; instead, I’m asked to bow down, in service.

How can I serve you, Mama Gaia? 🌸How can I help heal your wounds, through mine?

How can I serve you, Divine? 💎