Surrender

October 12, 2021

I hope that when you say you want to “give up”….you have someone who sees through those words, who chooses to hold you through your angered screaming, and kiss you through defeated tears.

Ongoing messages with hospital staff, trying to get a surgery date confirmed. Disorganized responses. It all feels like chaos. A direct reflection of what our collective is experiencing at the moment, huh? Not by coincidence at all.

My shadow self reverts back to these questions and fears: Did they not receive my requests? Can they not hear me? See me? How can I trust anyone?

I’ve been bleeding from my uterus every day for 4.5 months, I say out loud to Spirit, Universe, for anyone to hear. Is this not enough?!

Then I took a breath. And then another. ✨💎✨And just like that, my desire to “give up” alchemized into pure surrender.

Surrender vs. giving up. When you really contemplate on these two words/feelings and see them at their core….they’re different, aren’t they?

Giving up, feels like it comes from a place of defeat. Surrender, feels like it comes from a place of power. How profound is that simple realization?

It takes bravery, valor, + unconditional trust to truly surrender. This is the path I choose.

I surrender to the flow of this magical, beautiful, divine life.

I surrender the control that my shadow self so wants to cling on to.

I surrender my expectations to outcomes.

And I trust with unconditionality, that all is working for my highest good, and the highest good of all.

I surrender to the peace that will most definitely flow in, because I choose bravery, valor, and trust.

I surrender to the gifts and love that continue to flow in, and I receive in ease and grace…and ultimate peace.

And so it is.

I love you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.